Friday, April 24, 2009

Dar Lage Toh Gaana Gaa...

They say an average person fears public speaking more than they fear death. At least that's what Seinfeld says. In my lexicon of useless information, there's even a word for this fear, Glossophobia! (from the Greek word Glossa meaning tongue).

My own source of terror is singing in public, probably only topped by the mortification of hearing my own singing voice. Any intentions that I could have possibly harboured of leading life as a wandering minstrel were nipped in the bud, thanks to my mother, who fondly recorded her pubescent son once, while encouraging him to give vent to his singing urge. Poor mom didn't realise that apart from Michael Jackson, no one has yet mastered the art of staying contralto post the age of 13!

That tape was played just once in my hearing and then I fled the room. My singing muse has never had the courage to show its face in my conscious mind yet. That tape probably still exists, and is being used to ward off evil spirits in a house far far away.

So why am I telling you all this? Well, with such a buildup to my historical aversion, it was a complete & utter surprise when last Saturday, I found myself singing! In a stranger's house. Hindi songs. On Karaoke. Will the ignominy never end?

Thankfully, there were just 2 witnesses to my crime against humanity, not counting the maid, who incidentally was singing an aria to herself while making Indian food in the kitchen! Figure that out!

Was I drunk? Could Bacchus be the one to conveniently blame for my lapse? Not really! Mine kind host had offered me his lavish hospitality, but I had limited myself to a wee dram of Glenfiddich.

I had been invited for dinner by an ex-colleague who had recently gotten married. A very interesting match it was too, the couple being from different countries, different religions, different marital statuses before this one... you name any tradition, this couple broke it! Any topic of conversation in this particular social setting was a potential minefield, especially when a clunky person like myself was concerned! Just ask my wife; she's been trying to housetrain me for years. But I think all women secretly love having such socially inept hubbies to shout at and moan about to their friends, than they would let on!

The couple was very nice and gracious, the food was pretty good and the conversation was freeflowing and interesting (and very measured, from my side!). Contrary to all my apprehensions, there was no awkwardness at all while we chatted about various things, primarily because the couple were very much in tune (and dare I use the sappy word, Love?) with each other.

Then while at the dining table, I happened to see some strange contraption on the sideboard and asked about it. "It" was the karaoke attachment, which was promptly plugged in for a demo for the guest of honour! You just can't beat North Indians, especially Punjabis, for warmth, impulsiveness & an innate urge to show off! :-)

That "demo" went on for an hour, with the husband and wife both promptly grabbing a wireless mike each and singing out the lyrics of old hindi songs from the giant screen on the living room wall. I obviously declined all offers to being involved in the singing, and had to make ridiculous excuses. But there's no punjabi like a persistent punjabi, and hence I had to make my own contributions to the city's noise pollution.

After a couple of halfheartedly sung songs, I think I began to hit my stride and even secretly enjoyed the music. The funny part: all songs were accompanied by a random sequence of stock photographs, preprogrammed in the karaoke machine. So, while "Rafi" was singing a classical tune, the background shot would be of the Eiffel Tower or a hill in Scotland! Quite amusing.

It was almost midnight when I rose to bid adieu to my hosts. So after a lifetime of Singlossophobia (clever coinage, eh?), I finally found I could in fact enjoy singing loud in public.

Just goes to show you that life is full of surprises. There's no end to enriching and discovering yourself.

Be that as it may, I am still looking to destroy that tape!

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