Glory Days

"Glory Days....
...They'll pass you by..
..in the wink of a young girl's eye.."

The Boss might as well have written the song for Indian politicians. The song pops into my head just like that, when I see Laloo Prasad interviewed on tv by Barkha Dutt, the other day.

Laloo is half-seated half-sprawled over a sofa seat. He is wearing a singlet and a rather bemused and resigned expression. His hand is frequently to his head, supporting it or just holding it. All fight seems to have gone out of him. And no wonder. His party strength in Lok Sabha has been reduced to just 4 in 2009, down from 24. Twenty. Four.

Lalu Yadav has lesser seats than the evergreen थाली का बैंगन Ajit Singh of Baghpat.

Four months back, Lalu was on a trip to Japan (Japan!) leading a group of Railways officials, to lecture them about the success of Indian Railways, of which he was the minister in the previous government. A year back, he gave a talk to the students of IIM-Ahmedabad, *the* most prestigious management institute in the country. 2 years back, he was vociferously demanding renaming of Patna.

Yesterday, the RPF police team assigned for his security at his bungalow in Patna was removed completely.

Renuka Chowdhury is another example. Bold, brash, outspoken, prime example of foot-in-mouth syndrome. Lost her seat, lost her cabinet post, lost her tongue.

All these adjectives put into mind yet another opinionated gasbag, Mani Shankar Aiyer. Again, lost his seat, lost his cabonet post, and not a peep out of him. But in all fairness, having been relegated to Panchayati Raj minister in the previous govt had not done anything to improve his telepresence. The only time I recall seeing him on tv over the last 2 years has been when he recently launched his book on Rajiv Gandhi.

If movie heroes live and die every Friday, then politicians live, die or get resurrected every 5 years.

"Life is short, the Art is long, opportunity fleeting, experience delusive, judgment difficult." - Hippocrates.
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Stuck with it

What is it that belongs to you, but is normally used by everyone else except you?

It's your name.

The one thing that defines you, follows you and is an integral part of yourself, your identity and what you are perceived as your entire life, and the one thing that is not yours to choose or decide upon.

What inspires fond parents of a newborn defenceless slobbering baby to come up with creative yet risible names? Is it a latent sense of revenge, inspired by visions of potential sleepless nights catering to the whims & fancies of the tyke that's incessantly leaking from both ends? Or is the revenge directed towards the previous generation, the parents themselves having been saddled with unfortunate handles?

We are not talking celebrities here, who are anyway ensconced in their own crazy world, and who don't realise that fame doesn't get passed on with genes. Their progeny may not grow up to lead a rock lifestyle and may actually have to work for a living, in which case a name like Peaches may not be well suited for an accountant. What about an insurance broker named Moon Unit? They would much rather have "M. U. Zappa" on their visitng card, right? Hmm, in this case actually, the surname is weird enough to begin with. Iss ka kuchh nahin ho sakta. The only thing keeping this kid sane is probably the fact that her 3 siblings are named Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan & Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen.

So okay, let's not worry about Chastity Bono, Apple Martin, Pilot Inspektor Lee, Sage Moonblood Stallone or any other unfortunate kids of fortune. We aren't likely to meet any of them normally in a social situation.

I am more concerned about people we do meet or have met in our very own lives, whose names elicit a stunned reaction or perhaps one of awe!

For instance, I had a lecturer in college who went by the name of K L Sharma. All very normal, you would presume. Maybe a Kishen Lal, or a Kanhaiya Lal or something mundane like that. But no. We discovered to our intense amusement that his parents had decided in their infinite wisdom to name him Kabaari (ragpicker) Lal! 

Well, if you do have to think of a career for your child while naming them, you can't fault all those aspiring parents in Punjab who names their sons Jarnail (corrupted form of General) or Karnail (ditto of Colonel).

A college mate of mine married TripuraSundari, quite a mouthful, but hey, who's complaining if you get married to "The Most Beautiful One in 3 worlds"!

A post like this can never ignore the claims of Shrimati Laloo Yadav, our own sweet Rabri Devi, who is alleged to have a sister named Imarti. On the subject, Laloo tried his best Zappa impersonation (no, not musically!) by naming his daughter Misa, as a protest against the Maintenance of Internal Security Act.

More recently, I came across a salesgirl whose nametag announced her to the world as "Girly". Girly? Girly??? Don't tell me her brother is named Boysie! 

No, he wasn't. 

I asked her. :-)..
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About a dog

I was trying to watch this movie called Dus

My mind went numb & my heart said बस!

Desperately trying to be slick, smooth & grand

just like the real stuff from Hollywoodland.

Oh, Anubhav Anubhav Anubhav, why were you so rash

to follow up this stinker with yet another one called "Cash"?

In all honesty, it's not the only hindi movie

to make believe it's oh-so funky n groovy.

Think of काँटे, धूम, धूम २ & दोस्ताना

Swagger, pouts, Shades, & cleavage दिखाना

Mahesh, Karan & Co., here's some heartfelt advice

We want a good story, not rehashed Miami Vice!

Where's the challenge in ripping off Bad Boys 2?

If Johnny Gaddar could do it, so can you!

It could be somewhat funny if it wasn't so grating

Frankly My Dear, it's just nauseating.

All these cool auteurs remind me of a little girl

trying on, for the first time, her mama's pearls.

Her face all powdery, & red with rouge

stumbling & fumbling in grownup shoes.

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