What is it that belongs to you, but is normally used by everyone else except you?
It's your name.
The one thing that defines you, follows you and is an integral part of yourself, your identity and what you are perceived as your entire life, and the one thing that is not yours to choose or decide upon.
What inspires fond parents of a newborn defenceless slobbering baby to come up with creative yet risible names? Is it a latent sense of revenge, inspired by visions of potential sleepless nights catering to the whims & fancies of the tyke that's incessantly leaking from both ends? Or is the revenge directed towards the previous generation, the parents themselves having been saddled with unfortunate handles?
We are not talking celebrities here, who are anyway ensconced in their own crazy world, and who don't realise that fame doesn't get passed on with genes. Their progeny may not grow up to lead a rock lifestyle and may actually have to work for a living, in which case a name like Peaches may not be well suited for an accountant. What about an insurance broker named Moon Unit? They would much rather have "M. U. Zappa" on their visitng card, right? Hmm, in this case actually, the surname is weird enough to begin with. Iss ka kuchh nahin ho sakta. The only thing keeping this kid sane is probably the fact that her 3 siblings are named Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan & Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen.
So okay, let's not worry about Chastity Bono, Apple Martin, Pilot Inspektor Lee, Sage Moonblood Stallone or any other unfortunate kids of fortune. We aren't likely to meet any of them normally in a social situation.
I am more concerned about people we do meet or have met in our very own lives, whose names elicit a stunned reaction or perhaps one of awe!
For instance, I had a lecturer in college who went by the name of K L Sharma. All very normal, you would presume. Maybe a Kishen Lal, or a Kanhaiya Lal or something mundane like that. But no. We discovered to our intense amusement that his parents had decided in their infinite wisdom to name him Kabaari (ragpicker) Lal!
Well, if you do have to think of a career for your child while naming them, you can't fault all those aspiring parents in Punjab who names their sons Jarnail (corrupted form of General) or Karnail (ditto of Colonel).
A college mate of mine married TripuraSundari, quite a mouthful, but hey, who's complaining if you get married to "The Most Beautiful One in 3 worlds"!
A post like this can never ignore the claims of Shrimati Laloo Yadav, our own sweet Rabri Devi, who is alleged to have a sister named Imarti. On the subject, Laloo tried his best Zappa impersonation (no, not musically!) by naming his daughter Misa, as a protest against the Maintenance of Internal Security Act.
More recently, I came across a salesgirl whose nametag announced her to the world as "Girly". Girly? Girly??? Don't tell me her brother is named Boysie!
No, he wasn't.
I asked her. :-)..
